


it's the one person in the world that knows you better than anyone else

by shewitches



Series: what's a soulmate? [2]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, some background malec
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-16
Updated: 2016-05-16
Packaged: 2018-06-08 20:56:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6873022
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shewitches/pseuds/shewitches
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Can I tell you something?” </p><p>It’s the wrong time. It’s an awful time. She doesn’t even know what time it is but she knows it’s a bad time. The words leave her lips anyway before she take them back and her heart jumps in her chest. </p><p>“Tell me tomorrow.” </p><p>Isabelle nods, knowing that Clary’s half asleep voice is enough reason not to start the ‘hey, I’m your soulmate’ conversation.</p><p>She doesn’t tell her the next day.</p>
            </blockquote>





	it's the one person in the world that knows you better than anyone else

**Author's Note:**

> part 2 finally!! still in izzy's pov. continuation of 'like a best friend but more' and this probably won't make sense unless you read that. set in the shadowhunters TV universe. it's been a million years since i've read the books & i honestly don't care to reread them. sorry for being a month late to update? blame finals and my laziness. have 6k worth of fluff as an apology.
> 
> any mistakes are my own. i don't own these characters, this universe or this au. the title is from dawson's creek. please don't sue me.

When Isabelle was practically begging for a change in their seemingly boring daily routine, she didn’t expect the change to come in the form of a small redhead with a fiery attitude. The last big change they had was when their mom told them that she was pregnant with Max. 

Still, she expects something different. Not Clary Fray.

Not that she’s complaining. 

**

Even with the change in their dynamic – they were no longer a trio who made demon killing look like art, they were four people who seemed to disagree on pretty much everything – some things stayed the same.  
They still eat breakfast together every morning. It feels normal until someone mentions Clary’s name and she feels Alec tense beside her. She still needs to ask him about that – and the way that he keeps looking at his arm every time he thinks someone isn’t looking. 

Alec asks her if she’s had any messages from her soulmate lately and she feels like someone threw cold water on her. 

She still hasn’t told him that Clary is her soulmate. 

She’s pretty sure the minute she tells them, everything’s going to change.

“Not really. A few drawings here and there.” 

She was always a good liar. Clary hasn’t drawn anything on herself other than runes since her first day at the institute.

** 

Her mother isn’t soft. She wouldn’t know what to do with a mother that didn’t cut her down at every opportunity and frame it as constructive criticism. All of her sentences are formed with a purpose. Each one paired with a look that makes Isabelle feel like she’s six years old again. Despite being an amazing shadowhunter, she feels like a kid again when her mom is around. 

She’s a black skirt and a top – she hasn’t even put her shoes on yet – when her mom stops her in the middle of the institute. It’s barely a revealing outfit. Really, she can’t help it if her boobs are big enough that every shirt looks like a shirt she’d wear to a club.She shouldn’t feel bad the way she dressed in her own house. Yet, here she is, wishing she had picked something with longer sleeves. A pair of pants. Something that would have made her mother happy. 

“ _Isabelle_ , really, do you have to wear that? Who are you trying to impress?” 

She’s tense, her eyes never leaving her mom’s judgmental face. 

She misses Max. She misses Alec. She misses Jace. She misses her brothers. They’re all 20 feet away from her in their bedrooms and she misses them. 

She misses Clary. She misses drawings on her arms and conversations about their families – even if they were vague. 

Her thumb brushes against the inside of her wrist on instinct, aching for a drawing or even an angry message to show up on her skin.

**

_So you’re a shadowhunter. Good to know._

It isn’t a question. It’s a statement that makes something akin to fear settling in her stomach. The words appear on her arm when she’s in bed, mind racing. 

_Yeah. I didn’t want to have the ‘I hunt demons’ conversation like this. I figured you were a mundane and you would think I was making stuff up._

That and she wanted one part of her life where she didn’t feel like a Lightwood. She was just a girl with a soulmate, three brothers and a really intense mom. 

The bubble has officially popped and something in Isabelle aches. 

When she doesn’t get anything in return, she reaches for her marker again.

_I’m sorry._

She’s selfish and reaches for her phone, scrolling down to Clary’s name in her contact list. She knows that Clary wants to be searching for her mom. It took an hour of Isabelle telling her that she needed a break for her to agree to spend the night at Simon’s. To have an ounce of normalcy. If things were ever going to feel normal for Clary again, she needed her connection to Simon.

 **Text to: Clary Fray**  
\- Did you make it to Simon’s okay? 

She waits. And waits. And waits. When she feels her phone vibrate against her bed, something inside of her settles. 

**New Message:**  
\- Yup! He says hi by the way. 

She smiles at that, letting out a breath. Her phone vibrates again. 

**New Message:**  
\- Everything okay there?

For once, the institute is peaceful. It’s nice. 

**Text to: Clary Fray**  
\- Always.  
\- Night, Clary. 

It takes a few minutes for her phone to buzz again. 

**New Message:**  
\- Night, Izzy. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?

 _Izzy._ Not Isabelle. Not a nameless person on the other end of her drawings. Not that Clary knows she’s that person but – details.

** 

She’s at the computers in the middle of the institute when an iratze shows up on her forearm. Panic floods her system and she ignores the confused look she gets from Alec when she tells him that she thinks Clary’s in trouble. 

When they find Clary, they find Jace. Something that resembles jealousy settles in Isabelle’s chest. 

“What happened?” It’s Alec’s voice, not hers. She can’t stop staring at the gash on Clary’s arm that’s starting to heal. It’s healing slower than she’d like ( even if it’s the ‘normal’ pace for rune healings. She’s just used to seeing Jace draw on Alec and them healing faster. Parabatai bonds or whatever. ) 

“Just a demon. We handled it.” 

Isabelle still feels tense. She’s usually the one that has something to say to diffuse the tension. She’s always the one that pulls Alec out of a bad situation or serves as a buffer when they fight like brothers do. Instead, she’s just silent. Like she’s swallowed her own tongue. She can feel Alec’s gaze on her – intense as ever – when she moves to Clary’s side, making sure to keep her forearm hidden from her. When they make it back to the institute, Clary’s arm looped in hers for purely healing reasons, Alec starts delegating. He tells Jace to make sure Clary’s okay and seconds before she can protest and say that she wants to stay with Clary, Alec tells her he needs to talk to her. 

She’s pretty sure that her big brother wanting to talk to her shouldn’t sound like a death threat. 

** 

“ _Iz._ “ 

“No.” 

“ _Izzy._ ” 

“I don’t want to talk about this.” 

To give Alec credit, he looks as uncomfortable as she feels. She’s sitting at the end of her bed and he’s pacing around the room. They haven’t even talked about why he’s in here, even if they both know why. 

“Izzy, I’m your big brother. Talk to me.” 

“Tell me about yours first.” 

Alec pales, glancing at the floor like his shoes are the most interesting part of this conversation. There’s a pause and she assumes that he’s about to leave until his voice fills the room. 

It’d been so long since he said anything that Isabelle actually startles. 

“I don’t know his name – or anything about him, really. I just know that he’s not a shadowhunter. “Isabelle raises her brow at that and he smiles a bit, “I apologized for the runes like you said.” They both laugh, though her laugh is marginally louder. He continues, waving his hands in front of him. “He said it was fine and that he knows a few shadowhunters.” 

“Have you guys talked about anything else?” She asks, because _curiosity killed the cat_ and all that. 

“We talked about Mom. And Dad. He has a cat but won’t tell me the cat’s name. He thinks it’s a really uncommon name or something and somehow I’ll figure out who he is if he tells me. “Alec shrugs, his gaze finally raising to meet hers again. “He won’t tell me his name until I tell him mine. Something about a weird past with shadowhunters.” 

“Why won’t you tell him?” She asks, knowing that it’s a hypocritical question to ask considering the situation she’s in. 

"Why won’t you tell Clary?” 

It’s so quiet in her room that she’s pretty sure she could hear a pin drop. 

“We’re supposed to be helping her train. Helping her find her mom. I can’t tell her.” 

“Yet.” He replies, arms crossed over his chest. 

“Ever.” 

“ _Yet_ , Izzy.” 

“I’ll tell Clary when you tell your _mystery man_ your name, hermano.” 

“I’m telling him tonight.” 

He leaves her room with a laugh and she’s pretty sure he’s laughing at the dumbfounded look on her face. 

** 

Dinner is take-out from a Chinese place that Jace loves and the conversation keeps moving from demon activity to the annoying way Alec keeps trying and failing to eat with chopsticks. 

“You’re horrible at this, man.” All of them laugh as Alec throws the chopstick at his head and it bounces off. It feels like a weight has been lifted, even if it’s just for a night. 

The weight in her stomach returns when Clary walks into the room wearing her clothes. 

It’s a different kind of weight, but it’s still a weight. 

It’s not a big deal, really. It’s a pair of capris leggings that are giving Isabelle a ‘wandering eyes’ problem and a tank top. But it’s not a big deal. 

“Clary, food?” She asks, knowing that she sounds like she’s seconds away from choking. Alec looks smug and she glares at him. 

She’s usually a lot more put together than this. How many times was she able to flirt with a boy and not feel like she’s about to die while doing it? 

Her heart feels like it’s seconds away from beating out of her chest when Clary sits down beside her, tucking her legs underneath her. 

It’s adorable and Izzy hates everything in this moment. 

“Sorry I keep wearing your clothes. I promise I’ll get my own soon.” Clary smiles at her and Isabelle’s unsure how she went her entire life without seeing that smile. 

It’s blinding and awful and amazing all at once. 

“I have enough clothes. You can keep those.” 

The universe is laughing at her, she’s sure. 

** 

“Can I keep this too?” 

The clothes sharing really needs to stop. The universe is bound to smack her down for it eventually. She can’t deny the thrill she gets from seeing Clary in her clothes. 

Especially if it’s a tight black dress that she gave her for her own selfish purposes. 

“I’ll think about it.” Isabelle winks at her and turns her head slightly to hide the blush that appears on her cheeks. Her arm ends up looped with Clary’s as they wait outside Pandemonium and it feels natural. It feels like the world is spinning the right way, even if they’re breaking rules from the clave and she’s pretty sure Alec is about to have a heart attack behind her. “Do you think red’s my color?” She asks, thin fingers messing with the necklace around her neck. 

"Iz, with a body like yours, everything’s your color.” 

She hears Alec make a noise behind her that he covers up with a cough and she leans into Clary more, as if to bump her shoulder against hers. 

** 

Nothing from their mission to see Magnus Bane goes well. 

Well. A few things go well. 

She can still feel the pressure of Clary’s hand in hers and she’s 90% sure she knows who Alec’s soulmate is. 

Everything else goes to Hell though. 

** 

It’s sad that every time her parents come back from Idris, she expects things to be different. She expects a hug from her mother instead of the usual glare and lecture about how she’s a terrible, awful daughter. She expects something more than what she gets. Apparently, Clary expected the same thing. 

A sad smile spreads on her lips and she finds herself feeling grateful that she gets to have Clary in her life at all, even if it isn’t the way she wants. 

Someday, maybe. 

** 

"So, warlock soulmate?” 

Alec almost drops his bow. 

“Well, we knew he wasn’t a shadowhunter.” She starts, messing with his arrows until he pulls them out of her hands. He was always weird about her messing with his bow. 

“How’d you know it was him?” Alec asks her suddenly, not meeting her gaze. 

“I’ve spent my entire life watching you, big brother. You’ve never looked at anyone the way you look at Magnus.” She pauses, “How’d he figure out it was you?” 

“Deflect rune on my neck. Apparently a lot of people don’t have those.” _Ah._

“Why do you look so upset?” 

“Because having a soulmate that’s a guy is hard enough with the way Mom and Dad are. Having one that’s a warlock just makes it more complicated.” 

She sighs before moving closer to him, wrapping her arms around him. He’s so much taller than her that the hug is almost amusing. He rests his head on hers for a second before she moves back. 

“Magnus is great. You’re great. No one’s asking you two to get married. Just go on a date, see how it feels.” 

It’s ironic, given that she can’t take her own advice. 

** 

“Is Meliorn your boyfriend?” 

Clary asks and it’s a simple question. It’s something that shouldn’t make her heart jump inside of her chest, but it does. 

“I care about him.” She replies easily, shrugging. “I wouldn’t say boyfriend though. “ 

There’s a pause as Clary moves to sit on her bed. It’s innocent enough. Isabelle realizes quickly that she likes her there. When Clary lays out her art supplies, her heart practically lodges itself in her throat. “Can I watch you?” She asks, voice uncharacteristically soft and open. 

“Actually – “She’s expecting a speech about how she needs privacy to draw or how she doesn’t want Isabelle there. What she gets is something different. “I haven’t worked on drawing people much. So, you can watch if I can draw you.”  
Yeah, she’s pretty sure her heart is going to lodge itself in her throat for the rest of her life. 

“Sure.” She answers, hoping that she sounds more confident and relaxed than she feels. 

Watching Clary draw is mesmerizing and somehowcomforting. She gets lost in the way that Clary looks when she’s concentrated on something, the easy way she fixes each mistake and the way her eyes move from Isabelle to her sketch book. She gets lost in it all.Before she knows it, she’s moving from her uncomfortable lounging position and falling asleep despite the lecture she got about how she wasn’t allowed to move. When Clary wakes her up, she looks amused. She looks happy. She looks ten years younger. 

“I fell asleep, didn’t I?” 

“Yup.” Clary turns the book towards her anyway and she expects it to be half finished or a picture of her sleeping. Instead, she’s smiling and something tightens in Isabelle’s chest. 

“This is amazing, Clary. Seriously.” A flush spreads on Clary’s cheeks and Isabelle has to resist the urge to lean forward in her half asleep state and kiss her. Instead, she clears her throat and lets her eyes fall to the drawing again. “I’m surprised you didn’t draw me asleep as revenge for messing you up.” 

Clary shrugs and her gaze moves from the drawing to Isabelle herself. The moment is loaded and she can hear her heartbeat in her ears. “You didn’t mess me up. I remembered what your smile looked like.” 

The smile Isabelle gives her is blinding. 

** 

Alec is covered in blood. He can’t tell her how to fix it, how to save him, how to help. He’s just grabbing her arm as she hovers over him. She can barely see him with how much she’s crying. 

In an instant, it turns into Jace. Jace coughing up blood and trying to tell her something. 

Calloused fingers are replaced with equally as calloused ones, though his are colder. 

“Isabelle.” 

She panics, looking around. All she can see is grass. Grass, darkness and Jace’s (or Alec’s?) blood on her hands. _Her fault, her fault, her fault._

“ _Izzy._ ” 

The voice isn’t Jace’s or Alec’s. It sounds far off. 

In an instant, she’s shooting up in her bed. 

She recoils from the hands on her, pushing the blankets off her in an instant. It’s dark in her room but she knows the person sleeping in the bed next to her is Clary. The room is silent except for Isabelle’s heavy breathing. She feels like she can’t catch her breath, can’t stop her hands from shaking. Clary doesn’t move closer to her. She doesn’t touch her, doesn’t talk to her. She doesn’t go back to sleep either. She just waits. It’s more comforting than being hugged or held. 

“I’m okay.” Isabelle says, even though she can’t turn towards Clary. 

“I know you are.” 

There’s no hesitation. She doesn’t question it, doesn’t ask Isabelle what she was dreaming about. Just accepts what she says without question. She can’t remember the last time someone did that for her. 

“I saw Alec and Jace dying. I couldn’t save them, even though they were trying to get me to.” She starts, knowing that she’s sharing a part of herself that she doesn’t tell anyone. “I’ve had the dreams since I was old enough to fight. Sorry that I woke you up.” Clary just shakes her head, loose curls framing her face. She looks angelic. 

It’s fitting. 

"I have them about Valentine and my mom. About losing her.” Clary’s voice is quiet and Isabelle isn’t used to it. She’s used to the fiery redhead that storms through the institute like she owns the place. It’s unsettling. “Jace and Alec are okay though, Iz. I can hear Alec talking in his sleep.” 

Both of them laugh. 

When they fall back asleep, her head is against Clary’s chest and Clary’s fingers are in her hair. 

She isn’t used to being held. The intimacy of sharing a bed with Clary is more intimacy than she’s ever had from actually sleeping with someone. It’s a feeling that she doesn’t want to let go of. 

** 

“Can we talk?” 

Alec’s voice is quiet when he comes into her room, shutting the door behind him. Isabelle raises her eyebrow as if to say ‘duh’ and sits up completely on her bed. 

“Always, big bro.” 

Seconds later, a knock that’s significantly louder than Alec’s was sounds through her room. They both know it’s Jace without question. Alec moves to open the door for him and Jace falters, looking confused. 

“Are we having a family meeting that I wasn’t invited to?” 

“Nope, you both just need my advice apparently.” They both stare at her and she shrugs, “You both have tells when you need to talk to me about something. “ She explains it like it’s the most normal thing in the world. To her, it is. 

“Mine can wait, Iz.” Alec supplies, patting Jace on the shoulder when he leaves. 

“So – what’s wrong, hermano?” 

Jace is an enigma to her. He’s hard to understand, even for someone who’s known him for years like she has. Even for someone who considers him to be family. 

“I think Alec’s hiding something from me.” 

“That’s what you want to talk to me about? Nuh uh, no way. There’s a sibling code in this room and I’m not telling you anything about Alec.” 

“Izzy, please. He’s been acting weird around me and I can’t figure out why. He says everything’s fine but you know Alec. He won’t talk about what’s bothering him until it eats away at him. Then we end up in a screaming match.” 

She knows it’s true but still. The only reason they both felt comfortable talking to her is because she didn’t spill their secrets to the other. A sigh passes through her lips before she talks again. 

“Don’t try to get him to talk. Just hang out with him.” She starts, “Before all of the drama with the cup, we all used to spend time together. You and Alec had time when you would train together or go out and do whatever it is you guys did – “ 

“We used to go around and laugh at the mundanes. “ 

“ – see. You don’t do that anymore. Just hang out with him. I’m sure everything’s fine. ” 

“Okay, okay. You sound like a sap.” 

She throws a pillow at him, the sound of his laugh making her smile despite how he had made fun of her. 

** 

She hears Max before she can see him. The sound of tiny feet running through the institute, the bright sound of his laugh. It makes her smile before she moves to grab him, picking him up in her arms. 

“Gotcha!” She tries to sound menacing but keeps laughing instead, putting him back down on the floor. He looks happy. He looks like the sun. 

“ _Izzy, izzy, izzy –_ “He sounds like he has something to tell her and she can’t stop herself from grinning at him. 

“ _Max, max, max._ What?” 

“Can we – “ 

They’re cut off by the sound of Clary’s voice echoing through the institute. She’s yelling at Jace about something and both her and Max roll their eyes. 

When she makes her way over to them, she looks less angry. Isabelle tries not to read into it. 

“Is this the infamous Max I’ve heard so much about?” 

Max grins and bows in an overly dramatic way. Isabelle wants to kiss his cheeks. 

“Max, this is Clary. She’s a shadowhunter like us. Clary, this is Max. He’s currently in trouble but we’re ignoring that. ” 

Clary laughs and it’s as bright as Max’s laugh that follows. Both of them make something bright settle in Isabelle’s chest. 

“Have you seen Alec?” Max sounds confused and sad at the same time. 

“He’s with a friend, little brother. He’ll be back later and you can convince him to teach you to how to shoot his bow.” 

Max brightens again and Clary’s still stuck on the friend comment judging by her raised brow. She mouths the word _Magnus_ and Clary smiles to herself. 

“Izzy, can you get my stele back?” 

“Wait, why’d they take your stele away?” Clary asks and Max looks embarrassed for a few seconds. 

“He almost burnt down the Mumbai institute so they took it from him.” 

“It was an accident, _I swear_. I got the runes mixed up.” 

“Which is why we need to go _practice_ , Max. C’mon.” 

“Can Clary come? We can see which one of us is better.” 

Her gaze falls on Clary, eyebrow raised in question. As an answer, Clary bends down and whispers something in Max’s ear. In a second, he’s laughing and moving to climb on her back. 

“Off we go!” 

It’s singlehandedly the cutest thing Isabelle’s ever seen. 

** 

“Iz, can I ask you something?” 

She still isn’t sure why Clary doesn’t sleep in her room. At first, it was an accident that she fell asleep in Isabelle’s bed. Now, she shows up with freshly brushed teeth and wearing at least one thing from Isabelle’s wardrobe. It’s not exactly good for her heart. 

“Hmm?” Isabelle answers, not even opening her eyes. 

"You think we’ll find my mom, right?” 

Her voice is raw and full of emotion that she’s barely heard. It makes her chest tighten. Her eyes open and she raises her gaze to meet hers. Clary’s eyes are damp and Isabelle moves to wipe her thumb against the tear that rolls down her cheek. It’s more intimate than she means for it to be. 

“I promise we’ll find her, okay?” Clary nods and Isabelle shifts in her spot, pulling Clary closer to her. She never promises anything – especially when it comes to being a shadowhunter. The world could change in an instant and she’s learned that promises get broken. Still, she intends to keep this one. She isn’t sure how much time passes but she bites back the emotion that’s threatening to spill from her chest. This isn’t the first time she’s shared a bed with someone. Hell, it isn’t even the first time she’s shared a bed with Clary. This is normal. They laugh and they talk until they both fall asleep. They have a nightly routine. 

This is just the first night that she’s realized that the reason Clary’s sleeping in the same bed as her is because she feels safe there. 

“Can I tell you something?” 

It’s the wrong time. It’s an awful time. She doesn’t even know what time it is but she knows it’s a bad time. The words leave her lips anyway before she take them back and her heart jumps in her chest. 

“Tell me tomorrow.” 

Isabelle nods, knowing that Clary’s half asleep voice is enough reason not to start the ‘hey, I’m your soulmate’ conversation. 

She doesn’t tell her the next day. 

** 

“How’s Magnus?” Isabelle asks, a hint of teasing to her voice. 

"Don’t start.” 

"Aw, come on. You have to tell me. “ 

"It was one date, Iz. _One._ “ 

“I can still tease you about him. I’m your little sister, that’s my job. ” Alec looks honestly happy before going back to eating his food. Izzy rolls her eyes before reaching for a spring roll, eyes still on Alec. She narrows them slightly. 

“Did he teach you how to use chopsticks? That’s so _cute._ ” She watches as he flushes a shade of scarlet while glaring at her. It’s an interesting combination. 

“Have you told her yet?” He asks, genuine curiosity mixed with a need to embarrass her back. She knows this game all too well. 

“Do you think she’d still be here if I told her already?” 

“ _Yeah._ ” 

He tosses the wrapper from his fortune cookie at her and she rolls her eyes at him. 

“I’ll tell her.” 

"Yeah?” 

Isabelle nods and for some reason, she feels as if she’s just signed herself up to fail and lose everything all at once. 

** 

She debates writing her own name on her skin. She also debates on writing Clary’s name on her skin. The second option is less creepy than the first. In the end, she doesn’t go for either of them. 

She blames it on being distracted by fighting demons. It’s a perfectly good excuse. 

Whatever plans Valentine has for the shadowhunters, she’s sure that it starts here. With the demon attacks that are considered smaller and are easier to handle with a team of four shadowhunters. Easier to handle but still bad. 

“Clary, behind you!” 

She hears the familiar sound of Jace’s voice, laced with terror but still confident, when she turns to try and find Clary. She watches as Clary takes down the demon in front of her with steady hands. 

First rule of combat: don’t get distracted. 

She knows this. Really, she does. Whatever pride she feels towards Clary leaves when the demon – whatever the hell its name is – leaves a gash in her arm. She bites back the pain, ignoring the way her arm is already bleeding heavily. 

When they get back to the institute, each with their own battle scars, she’s grateful for the choice to wear long sleeves when they went out. It’s easier to hide blood that way. 

What she isn’t grateful for is an overbearing brother. 

“Iz, are you bleeding?” She’s never actually wanted to punch Jace before now. It isn’t his fault that she wants to avoid getting an iratze when Clary is standing three feet from them.

“Just a little. I’m good, Jace.” 

He looks unconvinced and she wishes that the earth would swallow her whole. 

“Alec, take Clary and put the weapons up. I’ll take care of the gash on her arm.” Alec nods and she deflates a little when Clary leaves. Jace notices and raises an eyebrow at her. 

“Since when are you this worried about a scratch?” 

“When it’s not a scratch.” 

It’s a gruff reply and for some reason, Izzy feels like she’s being lectured by a parent. She peels off the black shirt, wincing at the pain in her bicep. 

“ _Isabelle._ ” The wound is deep and Jace looks worried before he’s grabbing his stele from his back pocket. 

“Jace – “ He pauses and she’s grateful that regardless of the way people see Jace, he’s still soft with her. He looks twelve years old again. Soft and terrified that something terrible was going to happen. “Okay, I have to tell you something.” 

“That Clary’s your soulmate and you don’t want me to draw this because then she’ll know?” 

Isabelle hates her brothers. Honestly, she really hates them. They both know her too well and she hates them for it. 

She narrows her eyes and waits for him to explain and gets a shrug. “You’ve never taken your eyes off of a demon before. Even when we were training, you never took your eyes off the target. Tonight was the first time I saw you do it. “ 

“I’ve done it before.” She tries to rationalize, even though she knows it’s a lie. It was ingrained her to wait until the fight was done to worry about anything else. 

“No, you haven’t. You don’t get distracted.” 

"Neither do you.” 

“That’s because I’m the best.” She’s sure that it’s supposed to sound cocky but instead it just sounds sad. 

Jace is still an enigma to her most of the time but in the moment, she understands him better than she understands anyone else. 

“You’re not gonna leave until I let you do this, are you?” 

“You can’t walk around with a gash in your arm, Iz. We’ll both get lectures from Maryse and Alec will kill me for not talking you into it. It’ll be fine.” 

The familiar burn of the stele against her skin should be a comfort. She should be thankful that she’s able to heal the wound on her arm instead of worrying about needing stitches or bleeding out. Instead, she just wishes that she could be anywhere but here. 

** 

When Isabelle was a kid, she used to think her parents were soulmates. She’d watch them with each other and with her and Alec. She watched them with Jace and Max. She would watch as her mom was a tornado that would destroy anything in her path and her dad was picking up the wreckage as she went along. He was always apologizing for her, always making excuses. 

She always assumed that was love. 

Knowing that her and Clary were soulmates changed her opinion of love. It wasn’t something that required someone to pick up the wreckage. It wasn’t something easily explained or experienced – but it wasn’t about destruction. 

Her fingers hover over the iratze on her bicep and she tries to think of something to say. 

How do you explain to your soulmate that you wanted to keep things as normal as possible for her without sounding like you were hiding things from her? 

** 

"I was planning on telling you.” 

Clary’s sitting on her bed when she gets back to her room and she expected a lot of things but not that. She expected her to yell, to kick, to scream, to even leave the institute – but she didn’t expect this. She’s drawing something, all of her focus on that. 

“Telling me what?” She sounds hurt, but still like herself. She doesn’t even know where to start. Instead of trying, Clary starts talking again instead. Her eyes are still on the sketchbook in hand. “You know Valentine and my mom weren’t soulmates either. Like your mom and dad.” Isabelle wants to ask but decides to stay quiet, settling down on the bed. “Luke and my mom are.” 

“Really?” 

It’s the first time Clary looks at her for what feels like hours – even if it’s just a few minutes. 

“Yeah. Luke kept it from her for years because she was with Valentine. ” _Oh._ So, that’s the point. “He finally told her when I was a baby.” There’s a pause before she’s looking back at her sketchbook, delicate hands moving over the paper in a way Isabelle doesn’t understand. “You could have told me.” 

“I know.” Because she does know. She knows that she should have said something when she figured it out. She knows that she could have started this whole thing by telling Clary her name. Instead, she wanted to stay inside the bubble a bit longer. “I’m sorry. You were just already going through a lot. I didn’t want to make it worse by freaking you out and scaring you off.” 

“You think hearing that you were my soulmate would have scared me off?” She stops drawing, her gaze raising to meet Isabelle’s again. Her heart is going a mile a minute. “Being a shadowhunter was new. Not having my mom was new. Learning that my father was alive and terrible person was new for me. Having a soulmate wasn’t. I’ve known you since I was a kid, Iz.” 

Something about it makes her want to cry. Mostly because she’s sorry but also because the simplicity of _I’ve known you since I was a kid_ is breaking her heart. 

“I remember. You used to draw flowers on me all the time.” 

She expected yelling. Maybe even Clary telling her that she never wanted to talk to her again. She expected one of them to be a tornado and the other to pick up the pieces after they were done. She didn’t expect the civil conversation. She also doesn’t expect the soft press of a marker against her skin. It’s intimate in a way she doesn’t know how to explain. Clary doesn’t draw anything intricate, just a small design that’s mostly swirls and dots. Her heart almost stops when she sees the same thing appear on Clary’s skin seconds later. 

It was one thing to know that Clary was her soulmate, it was another to see it first-hand. She wants to feel bad and apologize again, but she can’t stop smiling. 

She clears her throat after a minute, remembering the second half of her speech (the one that she didn’t even get to give. It was a great one, too) that she needs to say. 

“You know, “ She starts, trying not to focus on the drawing on her wrist. “People who are soulmates don’t have to be together. If you wanted to go be with someone else, I’d be perfectly – “ 

She’s cut off and for a second, she’s annoyed. The speech was really good. It was all about them making their own choices and not relying on this to make their choices for them. It was rehearsed. 

The press of Clary’s lips against hers is better than the speech. It’s better than anything, really. 

It’s awkward at first, if she’s being honest. Mostly because they’re positioned weird and Isabelle’s still trying to talk until she finally melts into it. Clary’s lips are warm and slightly chapped which is endearing in a way it shouldn’t be. Something akin to hope surges in Isabelle’s chest when she raises her hand to cup Clary’s jaw.She wants to thread her fingers through Clary’s hair but she stops herself, her free hand falling on Clary’s hip. A quiet noise passes through Clary’s lips and it’s hands down the best noise that Isabelle’s ever heard. She wants to drown in it. They’re an awkward mess of limbs until Clary moves her sketchbook out of the way, moving so that Clary’s laying on top of her. Isabelle’s hands find their place on her hips and she doesn’t have time to be terrified of it before Clary’s kissing her again. 

The kisses are soft but still enough to make Isabelle feel dizzy. She’s kissed people before, but nothing like this. There isn’t a rush like there is when she kisses other people. 

When Clary pulls away from her, a weight settles in Isabelle’s chest. She could regret it. She could want _nothing_ to do with Isabelle anymore -- 

“ _Sorry_ , I just need to breathe.” Clary’s smile is blinding again and Isabelle hates the way that her heart speeds up at the sight of it. 

”I didn’t get to finish my speech.” Her hands are roaming Clary’s back, fingers pressing against warm skin. 

“I don’t need a speech, Iz.” She starts and Isabelle softens marginally, “I thought I was being pretty obvious about wanting to kiss you.” Isabelle assumes she looks confused or offended because Clary laughs, “I was! I’ve been wearing your clothes. _I sleep in your bed._ “ 

“I’m still sorry I didn’t tell you before.” 

She doesn’t know why she’s still apologizing. There’s a beautiful girl laying on top of her and there are bright red curls framing their faces and she’s happy and _she’s still apologizing_. 

“Alec was there when I saw the iratze show up on my bicep. We were putting weapons up and he kept looking at my arms when he thought I wasn’t looking. I think he expected me to freak out.” 

“You could have freaked out. I sort of thought you would have.” Isabelle interrupts because really – _it’s Clary_. She’s pretty much known for the way she reacts to everything so strongly. 

“Did you freak out when you found out it was me?” And okay, that’s not fair. Isabelle freaking out is different than Clary freaking out. Isabelle internally panics and tries to detach herself from the situation. Clary runs towards it with every bit of her anger. Her silence makes Clary give her a look that’s mostly soft but there’s a hint of amusement in it. “Exactly.” 

It feels like forgiveness when Clary kisses her again. They don’t have all of this figured out yet, but it’s enough for now. It’s enough to make her feel like she’s flying every time Clary kisses her. 

She isn’t sure how long they end up kissing but both of them look mad and slightly disoriented when someone knocks on Isabelle’s door. Clary looks at her with a raised eyebrow like she’s debating if they should just pretend they’re asleep so they don’t have to move or stop kissing. It’s cute. 

She presses a quick kiss to Clary’s lips (one that still sends a thrill up her spine) before she’s moving to open her door. Jace looks like he’d rather be anywhere but there and Alec looks the same until she notices him laughing into his hand. 

She’s pretty sure her hair is a mess and that her lipstick is smudged. They can deal with it. 

“Why do I feel like you two are about to ruin my night?” 

“We just wanted to know if you guys were okay – “ Jace starts, trying to keep his expression neutral. 

“We’re fine.” 

“ _Clearly._ ” Alec buts in and every time she’s ever teased Jace or Alec comes back to her. It’s gonna be a long time before they leave her alone. 

“ – and if you wanted to go out and get something to eat. Alec is tired of take-out and neither of us want to die from you trying to cook.” 

“I can cook.” Jace and Alec both stare at her like she has three heads. Clary has the decency to look like she believes her. “Okay, fine – but we’re not going anywhere Jace wants to go just for that comment.” 

Jace looks like he wants to say something but decides against it. 

“I know a good place.” Alec chimes in, pulling out his phone. 

“Having a boyfriend that knows all the best restaurants in the city is an unfair advantage.” Her and Clary freeze momentarily and it’s amusing given that Clary only has one arm in her jacket. Isabelle’s waiting for the inevitable panic from Alec that doesn’t come. Jace just shrugs, “Alec already told me. Invite Magnus. We can have a night away from the institute. ” 

Alec smiles before he’s texting what looks like a novel. She’s pretty sure convincing your warlock boyfriend to have dinner with a group of shadowhunters isn’t easy. It’s less easy when she hears Jace say something about inviting Simon so that he isn’t playing fifth wheel. 

**  
As far as groups of friends go, theirs is weird. Magnus tells them all stories about his first experience with shadowhunters and Alec looks more relaxed than he has in months. Jace tells Magnus embarrassing stories about Alec from when they were kids and even that doesn’t make Alec stop grinning. 

His smile falters some when Simon starts a joke with ‘ _Four shadowhunters, a mundane and a warlock walk into a bar…_ ‘ even if Jace can’t stop laughing. 

Clary is pressed against her side the entire time and it’s the first nice memory they’ve had in a long time. It’s almost enough to forget that they need to find Valentine, that they need to save Clary’s mom, that they need to find the Cup – Almost. 

**Author's Note:**

> part 3 will probably be the pre-canon mess from clary's pov and then part 4 will be when i introduce lydia because i love her (though her & alec aren't gonna even attempt to get married. i kind of wrote that out of this canon... oops)


End file.
